You may be the person who is commencing the proceedings. If so you are known as "The Petitioner". Perhaps you are being divorced by your spouse, in which case you are known as "The Respondent". The process for obtaining a divorce can take approximately four to five months provided neither party unnecessarily delays the proceedings.

In order to obtain a Decree of Divorce, the Petitioner will need to convince the Court that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and must prove the following facts to the Courts satisfaction

• That the Respondent has committed adultery and that the Petitioner finds it intolerable to live with the Respondent.
• That the Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.
• That the Petitioner has been deserted for a continuous period of two years.
• That the parties to the marriage have lived separate and apart for a continious period of two years and that the Respondent consents to a Divorce.
• That the parties to the marriage have lived separate and apart for a continious period of five years.

The procedure is the same regardless of which ground for Divorce is used. It is unlikely to make a difference to financial matters or what will happen to the children whether you are the Petitioner or the Respondent.

Firstly a Divorce Petition is prepared setting out basic details of the history of the marriage, the grounds for Divorce and a separate form is completed confirming the arrangements for children if applicable. These documents are lodged at Court along with the Marriage Certificate. The Court then issues the Divorce proceedings by posting them, together with a form of Acknowledgement of Service.

At this stage the Respondent has 14 days to acknowledge service. If the Respondent fails to do this then the Petitioner can apply for Bailiff Service when a further set of Divorce papers are personally served on the Respondent. Assuming that the Respondent does not wish to defend the Divorce proceedings, the Petitioner now has to complete two further forms. The first is a request for the District Judge to consider the Divorce. The second is an Affidavit in which the Petitioner confirms that the contents of the Divorce Petition are true. Once completed both these documents are lodged at Court.

The District Judge then considers the Divorce Petition and the proposed arrangements for any children. If he is satisfied, he will list the Divorce for Decree Nisi. Whilst this is a hearing which takes place in Open Court, it is not normally necessary for either party to attend this hearing. The hearing is basically a matter of formality.

Six weeks and one day after the Decree Nisi, the Petitioner can apply for a Decree Absolute and at that stage the marriage is brought to an end. As above it could easily take longer than four to five months to be concluded if the Respondent does not co-operate or if there are other issues that need to be dealt with before the Decree Absolute is obtained.

There may, however, be certain reasons why the Petitioner might not want to apply for the Decree Absolute straight away. For example, if the Respondent should die before the financial arrangements are sorted out then the Petitioner may be better off being a widow/widower as there may be pension rights or policies, which the Petitioner would lose out on if the Decree Absolute has already been pronounced. Furthermore, there may be tactical reasons not to apply for a Decree Absolute straight away. All these factors can be discussed with your solicitor before the Decree Absolute is applied for.

If the Petitioner does not apply for the Decree Absolute then the Respondent can apply, but only when three months have elapsed after the date upon which the Petitioner could have applied. If the Respondent makes an application then the application has to be made to the District Judge and the application must be served upon the other party not less than four clear days before the date of the hearing. The application has to be supported by a sworn statement. The Judge then has the discretion as to whether to grant the Decree Absolute and has a general power to withhold a Decree Absolute in appropriate circumstances.

Can I change my mind'

Many people think that just because they have started the Divorce process they cannot stop it. This is not true. A Divorce can be "stopped" at any time before the Decree Absolute, for example if you and your spouse reconcile. If this does happen, be sure to let your Solicitor know so that the Court can be made aware of the reconciliation and the Petition can be withdrawn from Court.